


Lessons

by ShesJustLikeAMaze



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Epiphanies, F/M, Heart-to-Heart, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 06:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16928127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShesJustLikeAMaze/pseuds/ShesJustLikeAMaze
Summary: Sometimes people don't get together right until the very end.A song fic from the song 'Lessons' from Sohn. This song was featured in Tessa and Scott's comeback video.





	Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so this is a short one shot about conversations that could take place between our royals.   
> I watched the comeback video again for the first time since it has been released and it kind of got me thinking...  
> Tessa Virtue does not seem like the type of person to do anything without intention. She is creative and very intelligent so I couldn't help but wonder if the song choice was one of deeper meaning. Perhaps it reflects both of their personal growth and the unhealthy relationship that could have occurred (all speculation) between them after Sochi?
> 
> I'd love to hear what you all think :)

Lessons

 

**Of lessons learned, of lessons learned** **  
** **Of bridges burned, of bridges burned** **  
** **This time I'll do things differently** **  
** **This time I'd like to need you less**

 

**Christmas Eve- 2018**

Tessa ran her finger tip along the frosted window of her car making random lines and edges, almost as if she was on the ice. She can't remember the last time she glided around the rink without purpose, allowing herself to be consumed by thoughts. Today was no different. She didn't drive herself to Ilderton to skate around her childhood rink, she came here to meet Scott. Because he asked her to. She thinks she has an idea why, but then again...He’s as unpredictable as a horse without trust.

 

Tessa left her warm car for the dark winter night sky. It was nearly midnight and the rink has been shut down for the weekend and Christmas Holidays. As soon as she pushed open the heavy doors she was greeted by the familiar sight of where the dream began. Just a boy from a small town skating as fast as he could around the ice. This time the boy was 31 years old and much more controlled than the 10 year old goofball with a buzz cut.

 

“Hi.” Tessa called out announcing her presence. She laced up in the dark, the only light being the one illuminating center ice.

“Hi back.” Scott skidded to a stop, slightly out of breath.

“Do I recognize you from somewhere? Wait, weren't you that guy who won the Olympics?” Tessa said playfully.

“No, you must be confusing me with someone else. That guy had a bad wedgie and a gorgeous skating partner.” Scott laughed, Tessa chuckled, stepping onto the ice.

“I told you at least four times to ask Mathieu to adjust your pants. It would have been a totally easy fix for him. But in good old Scott fashion, you left it too long and ended up in Pyeongchang with pants that hugged you closer than my skating tights.” Tessa chuckled.

“You said they made my ass look hot.” Scott pouted.

“They did! But I also remember you calling me to bring you some petroleum jelly because you got a booty burn during the rotational lift.” Tessa pushed away from the boards and Scott automatically came to skate beside her.

“That was the worst.” Scott shuttered. They stroked side by side in silence for a moment while they thought about what to say next.

“Tess, I know we haven't had a chance to catch our breath since the end of tour, but are we still good?” Scott looked at Tessa who was considering her answer.

“I think so.” She said, focusing on the ‘Canadian Tire’ advertisement attached to the board. “Although lately I've been feeling pretty out of the loop.”

“I know. I'm really sorry.”

“We promised each other that things would be different this time, Scott. No secrets, no lies, no resentment, no insecurities.” Tessa reached for Scott's hand giving it a squeeze. “I'm not upset with you for seeking happiness, I just wish you felt like you could have told me. I'm your best friend. If I'm being honest with you: I felt like you were shutting me out like you did-”

“After Sochi.” Scott finished her sentence.

“Yeah.” Tessa exhaled a calming breath. 

“Will you ever trust me, again?” Scott asked.

“I do trust you. We wouldn't have won Pyeongchang if I didn't trust you.” Tessa said.

“You know what I mean, kiddo.” Scott laced his fingers with hers into a dance hold so he was facing her. “Sure, you trust me with your body, I've never dropped you. You trust me with our training, we have a team who never let us down. But your heart Tessa, you have it guarded so deep inside you that sometimes I can't tell what's real with you any more.” Scott frowned.

“I just don't know how much more of myself I can give.” Tessa moved away from Scott's hold.

“I really fucked it up, didn't I? I burned our Virtue-Moir bridge to the ground.” Scott sighed.

“You didn't! We never promised each other a life together outside of skating. I stopped having that dream years ago.” Tessa picked his hand back up.

“But we never really talked about it.” Scott shrugged.

“You should have told me about Jackie. You did the same thing with Jessica, then Cassandra, then Kaitlyn. I don't understand why it's so important for you to keep me separate. The only conclusion I came to was that it's because you're ashamed of me.”

“God Tessa, No!” Scott held on to her hand like it was his most prized possession. “The only reason I try to keep you separate from them is because nobody understands us. You're beautiful in every way, T. It's hard to compete with that. I just want Jackie to feel like she has a chance. That we can be a normal couple. I miss being me, just Scott Moir. People can be so cruel when they're hiding behind their computers and they have already shown so much hostility to Jackie without even knowing her. It's heartbreaking.” 

“You seem to forget that I know Jackie too, Scott. She was one of my friends. We used to take ballet together on Fridays and I went to her birthday parties three years in a row.” Tessa explained.

“Then you must remember how kind she is.” Scott smiled.

“She's really, really lovely Scott. I'm so happy that you two reconnected.” Tessa put her arm around Scott's waist.

“Thank you Tess.” Scott kissed her hair. “Your approval is so important to me.”

“I'm trying my best. My only hope coming into the last few years is that I would learn how to need you less.” Tessa pulled away skating to the boards. Scott followed closely behind her.

“Will you be honest with me for a second? Completely unfiltered and raw?” Scott leaned against the boards.

“Okay.” Tessa agreed swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Are you still in love with me?” Scott asked, his eyes dark.

“I think I'll always be a little in love with you, kiddo. But I also like where we are right now. I'd rather have you as my best friend than not having you at all.” Tessa smiled, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I'm excited to see where things go with Jackie, and I would really love it if you kept me in the loop.”

“I promise that I've learned my lesson. I wouldn't dare tarnish what we have built.” Scott reached up to wipe away Tessa's tear.

“After all, our partnership is like a pyramid. The Egyptians hand made and built those pyramids brick by brick. It's a process that took them 25 years if not longer to complete. It's important and special.” Tessa explained.

“I love your fun facts, Tess...But let's not compare our partnership to a place where pharaohs go to die.” Scott chuckled.

“Okay, Okay good point.” Tessa laughed her beautiful melody, “I should go home now. Thanks for having this chat with me Scott. We should do this more often.” Tessa left the ice and plopped down on the bench to remove her skates.

“I really am sorry I didn't tell you. Things just moved so quickly...and-”

“Scott, I forgive you.” Tessa smiled, collecting her things.

“Hey Tess?” Scott called as she started walking towards the doors.

“Yeah?” She turned around, her green eyes filled with something so far from despair. She was content, joyful even.

“Merry Christmas.” He smiled.

“Merry Christmas.” Tessa said softly, waving goodbye.

 

…

 

**I'm struggling, I'm struggling** **  
** **I've given in, I've given in** **  
** **This time I'll keep an overview** **  
** **This time I'll keep away from you** **  
** **This time I'll keep away from you**

 

**Christmas Eve- 2019**

 

Tessa was sitting on her couch eating sugar cookies and watching cheesy Hallmark movies when her phone started ringing. She decided that she didn't want to work this Christmas so she has been letting her calls go to voicemail. Something about this call at nearly 10 pm, the night before Christmas made her curious. She picked up her phone abandoning the bad acting and cheesy lines, moving her call into her bedroom.

“Hi?” Tessa raised her eyebrows when she saw the name on the call display.

“Hi back.” Scott said, sounding off.

“What's up?” Tessa knew him well enough to know he wasn't alright.

“Can you meet me at the rink?” Scott asked.

“Yeah, sure. I'll be right over.” Tessa said, knowing better than to ask questions.

 

Tessa got into her car, the snow falling in thick flakes around her. It was definitely going to be a white Christmas. As she carefully drove through the empty, dark streets she thought of the years she's had. More tours, more sponsorship bookings, more fashion endeavors. She was very happy with how far she's come since just last year. Her and Scott kept their promise and remained open with their communication, although Tessa admitted to keeping away from him just enough to allow his relationship with Jackie to bloom. She even spent some time with Jackie and was really starting to get comfortable with the idea that she may be the one. Just last month she and Tessa went shopping while Scott spent a weekend in Montreal coaching. It didn't take long for Tessa and Jackie to be friends again. Laughing and reminiscing about the good old days. Scott has been different this time around too, he has made sure to nurture his partnership with Tessa that just continues to grow despite how little they actually skate these days. Tessa wasn't really sure what to expect when she showed up to Ilderton. Was Jackie pregnant? We're they engaged? Or maybe Scott wanted this to be a new tradition? Whatever she was driving into, she could feel that it was important.

 

…

 

“Hi.” Tessa had Deja-vu as she walked into the dim lit arena.

“Hi back.” Scott croaked.

“You're not okay.” Tessa said, plopping down on the bench beside Scott who kicked his skates into the corner.

“No.” Scott turned and immediately broke down against Tessa’s shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and let him cry it out.

“What happened?” Tessa asked, rubbing soothing circles into Scott's back.

“She left me.” Scott sniffled.

“What? When?” Tessa was shocked. They seemed so happy.

“Last week. She went back to her ex-husband.” Scott sobbed.

“Why?” Tessa whispered, confused about how someone like Jackie could do such a thing.

“She couldn't stop loving him no matter how hard she tried.” Scott looked up at Tessa, his eyes red. “She went back to Florida to finalize her divorce and I guess she had some sort of epiphany. I wasn't enough for her, I would never be enough for her...I guess sometimes we don't get to choose what our heart wants.”

“No, we don't.” Tessa whispered swallowing a lump in her throat. “Although we all strive for the same thing in life. The same goal. To be happy. Maybe Jackie's ex actually made her happier than she realized. Taking a step back and finding a different perspective helps people see what might have been right in front of them all along.”

“It just hurts to know that I couldn't have changed her mind.” Scott wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“I can relate.” Tessa whispered, hardly audible.

“Is this how I made you feel all those years?” Scott looked up at Tessa, his hazel eyes coloured with green.

“Yeah, actually. You did.” Tessa decided not to sugar coat it. Love sucks and it was so very painful.

“I'm sorry.” Scott cried into her shoulder.

“Sometimes you hurt me so badly that I wanted to find a way to hurt you back.” Tessa kissed Scott's forehead, “But I could never bring myself to be mean to you. I always forgave you because it helped me forgive myself.”

“But you didn't do anything wrong, why would you need to forgive yourself?” Scott asked.

“You didn't do anything wrong either, yet here you are taking the blame.” Tessa rubbed his back, “Self compassion is a beautiful thing.” 

“How long have you been harbouring this pain?” Scott looked helplessly at Tessa.

“Since I was 10 years old and the boy I was convinced I would marry told me he didn't want to date me any more.” Tessa chuckled, yet her words were filled with truth.

“Does it get easier?”

“Absolutely! When you were with Jessica I couldn't even look at you. We were only kids but I still went home every night after practise and cried. When Cassandra came along I was annoyed and jealous. You wouldn't even let me meet her and quite frankly, I didn't want to. I just knew that when she was sitting in those stands during Carmen, I really played my part. That was the easiest character I've ever had to get into. I cried less over Cassandra but I also knew she would be temporary. I didn't once think about what you wanted. When Kaitlyn came around things were tricky. She wasn't just some girl from Ilderton, or the rink...She was on our team, she was my friend. I remember feeling torn because I really liked Kaitlyn but I was also so in love with you. That time around I felt anger. I was mad that you'd even put me in that position. That if you broke up you'd make me choose, and I knew I'd always choose you. I felt that after Sochi, our fight with Marina, our retirement...That you owed me something. I felt like I had made so many sacrifices for you, literally slicing open my legs, and you pushed me aside. This time things with Jackie things were different. I still felt the loss but I also felt happy. I saw how happy you were, and how well you treated her. You considered everyone around you and you were careful. I didn't cry over you, instead I made sure I was in just the right place to allow your relationship to thrive. It did get easier but I think that's partly because I CHOSE to be happy about it.” Tessa explained, Scott stared at the empty rink, his head resting on Tessa's shoulder.

“We never talked about this.” Scott whispered, his tears drying up. “Even after all those therapy sessions, we never talked about this. Why didn't we?” Scott asked.

“Because I didn't want a therapist to try and cheapen my feelings, I wanted them to run their course and I wanted to use them. That's what artists do.” Tessa hugged Scott closer.

“Tessa, I just want you to know…” Scott turned to look up at Tessa, their faces inches apart, “How much I love you back. I don't know if we'd ever work as a romantic couple...But I'm not indifferent about you. This isn't about a business partnership, or publicity. I have never grown tired of being by your side, not even after 22 years. I really, really do love you.”

“I know you do.” Tessa sighed, Scott dipped his head down and kissed her covered shoulder. 

“I wonder if we'll ever be able to love other people as much as we love each other?” Scott laughed, the sound shrill.

“At this point I don't even care. I'm just so happy with how things have panned out. I'm So, so proud of you Scott. If being your best friend means I never fall in love again, or have kids, of have the dream home with the picket fence...Then screw it. I don't want it.” Tessa nudged his shoulder.

“It's almost Christmas, want to skate with me?” Scott looked out to the ice.

“I'd love to.” Tessa pulled her skates from her bag.

 

The partners laced up side by side in silence like they have done so many times before. The entered the ice, holding hands and skating in unison. They didn't skate a pattern or plan the way their blades would match, they just skated. It didn't take them long to settle in and start to play. Scott tickled Tessa and her laughter filled the air. Scott ended up twizzling into the boards and he fell on his butt matching Tessa’s laugh. Together the team skated for themselves because although they have learned to express themselves with words, they always found it easier to communicate through edges and motions. Tessa felt herself giving in to him. The year she has spent carefully planning her ever move around Scott , faded. The clock struck midnight and Scott grabbed her by the hips, skidding to a stop at center ice.

“Merry Christmas.” Scott whispered, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead.

“Merry Christmas.” Tessa smiled. Latching on to him.

“I think I've had an epiphany, too.” Scott whispered.

“Yeah?” Tessa smirked.

“Yeah.” Scott pulled Tessa close. “I think I'm ready to work on us.”

“But we've always worked on us.” Tessa laughed.

“Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue, will you go back to marriage counselling with me?” Scott asked, getting down on one knee.

“You're such an idiot.” Tessa chuckled pulling Scott back up to his feet.

“I'll remember to tell our councillor that you said that.” Scott teased. “But seriously, T. I think I'd like to give us a chance, even if it's just to say that we tried...But I want to do it properly. I want to make sure that we come out of this on top. That no matter what we're in this together-”

“And that no matter what, I love you.” Tessa finished, her voice a whisper. “Are you sure this isn't just because you pity me? Because I just spilled 22 years of confessions?” Tessa shrugged. “I don't want to unveil years of suppressed feelings for us to fail.”

“Let's just start the conversation. No pressure, no expectations.” Scott said.

“We can go to one session and see how it goes.” Tessa sighed, giving in despite promising herself she would stay away from him. “But Scott, if we find that we love each other less as a couple we can't force it.”

“And we won't.” Scott smiled, “We have gotten pretty damn good at this communication thing, don't you agree?” 

“Okay, yes, I'll go to marriage counselling with you.” Tessa smiled, wrapping Scott in an embrace.

 

**Of lessons learned, of lessons learned** **  
** **Of bridges burned, of bridges burned** **  
** **This time I'll do things differently** **  
** **This time I'd like to need you less**


End file.
